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The process of grief can leave pupils feeling a range of emotions, including numbness, denial, sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety.

Young people seem to express grief differently from adults, often moving through different emotions and reactions very quickly and experiencing many of them all in one day.

This is sometimes referred to as ‘puddle jumping.’

Whereas adults may wade through ‘rivers of grief’ or become stuck in ‘oceans of distress,’ it is natural for children to be extremely upset one minute and then want to know what is for tea the next. It is overwhelming and confusing for them to sit with that level of distress for too long, so they need distraction.

 

How the whole school culture can support children and young people dealing with loss or bereavement.

Structure

Try to maintain some structure, predictability, routine, and familiarity for the student, as this will help offer some containment. However, be prepared to respond in the moment if they are unable to cope.

Attunement

Having healthy, attuned relationships with others is a significant protective factor when someone is experiencing grief or loss. Just knowing someone is available when needed helps one manage day-to-day tasks.  Though it can be painful to hear a child’s sense of loss, it is important that they feel heard when they want to talk. Stay curious – there may be many other changes in the child’s life due to the loss that they are trying to make sense of.

Emotional Regulation

When life becomes unexpectedly unpredictable, it can put significant pressure on our ability to cope. Allowing pupils to be heard and providing them with strategies to regulate can support them in getting back into their thinking brain.

Healthy Minds Guide for school staff supporting children and young people who have suffered bereavement or loss

 

 

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